My girls and me at the shower

Hippo Cake!

Diaper cake

Jude was still breech at our check-up on Friday, but I am feeling much better about it.  I have accepted that a c-section is not the end of the world and am really seeing the positives in the situation.  We talked with the doctor more about our plan.  He told us he is willing to try the version next week if we want to, but it is completely up to me.  He does not push them because they are painful and involved from my end, but he doesn’t mind trying.

John and I discussed it more and have decided not to try it.  We feel that the pregnancy is in God’s hands and if Jude needs to turn, God will make sure he does.  We feel that there is a possibility that he is breech to protect him from something we don’t understand, and we don’t want to try to force him to move.  I know that may sound crazy, but there it is.

If he does remain breech, our doctor has given us the choice to schedule a c-section for when I reach 39 weeks or wait until I go into labor.  We feel that if he hasn’t turned by 39, he probably won’t, so we will go for the scheduled section.  While this was not my plan at all, I can see a lot of benefits to doing it this way, so I am feeling pretty good.

I am getting super anxious to meet this little guy!  We still have some preparations to finish, but the end is definitely in sight.  And its a good thing because I am feeling huge all of the sudden!

4 more weeks!

My boys tend to be a little on the crazy side when they play outside.  They climb trees, climb onto the roof, jump their skateboards and bikes off ramps, stairs, and grinding rails, and other boy nonsense.  I’m actually surprised we haven’t had more trips to the ER.  What is surprising is that Joshua fell and broke his wrist simply stopping a basketball.  Go figure.

We could tell by his response that a trip to the ER was in order.  He is generally a pretty tough little guy, but he was very upset and could barely move his wrist.  Laura was at my house, so we decided to leave the kids with John and head 20 minutes up the highway to the ER in a nearby town.  I expected an easy fix and home by bedtime.  I was wrong.  It was about 4:30.

We were seen pretty quickly and the doctor was almost certain that the wrist was truly broken.  There was a bit of a wait for radiology, but the x-rays confirmed the break.  Right on the growth plate.  They could do the surgery there or transfer us to Children’s Medical Center in Dallas.  We opted to transfer.  That’s when the real fun began.

Laura headed back to town to pick up Carolyn, Mom headed to my house to get the kids, John headed to Children’s, and Joshua and I loaded into the ambulance.  Ambulance rides are rough and bumpy.  Very rough and bumpy.  Especially when you are almost 9 months pregnant.  About halfway there, I started having contractions.  Now, I have been having a good number of braxton-hicks contractions for the last few weeks, so I didn’t worry about it at first.  My doctor told me not to worry unless they were coming steadily 10 minutes apart or less.  After several, I started timing.  3 minutes.  Uh-oh.  Fortunately, when we got to the hospital and out of the nightmare ambulance, they stopped.  To say I was relieved is just not a strong enough statement!

John got there about the same time that we did, and they got us checked in and into an ER “room” pretty quickly.  Laura and Carolyn arrived soon after and the waiting began.  It was about 9.

Our room was actually a double room, separated by a curtain.  The poor kid in the other room made me very grateful we were there for just a broken wrist.  He had crashed on his bike, straight on his face, and was in pretty bad shape.  He had a steady stream of specialists in and out to see him.  I’m not sure I want my kids on a bike ever again!

We finally saw the orthopedic doctor and he told us surgery would not be necessary.  They would be able to maneuver the growth plate back into place under conscious sedation and it would be a pretty minor procedure.  There was one kid ahead of us and we should be on our way home by 2 or 2:30 am.  I could deal with that.

Time passed.  We waited.  Joshua was okay, but the pain was coming back.  They gave him some morphine and he did not like it at all!  (I don’t think we will have to worry about Joshua doing drugs – he hates the way he feels when he gets anything like that!)  They moved us to the orthopedic room and we waited some more.

And some more.

And some more.

Finally, at 2:45, they were ready to get started.  They gave him ketamine for the procedure, sent us out of the room, and fixed his wrist.  Less than 20 minutes later, they were done.  And then the real fun began.

As Joshua woke up from the sedation, he started to vomit.  In order to go home, he had to wake up and drink some juice or eat a popsicle.  Every time he tried, he vomited.  Laura and Carolyn headed home, and John and I waited for the vomiting to stop.  It was about 3:45.

The next few hours drug by.  Joshua slept, tried to drink, vomited, and slept some more.  They gave him some Zofran and IV fluids and tried to discharge him.  He vomited again.  He drank some Gatorade, they removed the IV and tried to discharge him again.  He vomited again.  He ate a popsicle and seemed ok.  We waited.  We waited a little longer.  Finally, they sent us on our way.  We stopped at the bathrooms on the way out and guess what?  He vomited again.  We went home anyway.  It was about 8 am.

Finally, at about 9:30 am, we got home and headed to bed.  We slept until 2:30 and all got up.  Joshua continued to vomit when he tried to eat or drink.  I called the doctor and he said not to worry.  Joshua slept almost all day.  Finally, by the time we really went to bed, he seemed better.  We had him sleep in our room so I could watch him.  I woke him around midnight to check on him and he was doing well.   I could finally sleep.

Today, he is doing much better.  He has had minimal pain and seems to be bouncing back pretty quickly.

Aren’t boys fun?!?!?!

As soon as we left the doctor’s office, I had a meltdown.  Usually, John is very understanding, but this time, he kept looking at me like I had lost my mind.  Don’t get me wrong, he was very supportive, but he just couldn’t understand why I was so upset.  I tried to explain my fears of a c-section and the disappointment I felt over not being able to birth naturally, but I didn’t do a very good job.  Over the past couple of days, I have given it a lot of thought and I think I understand what I was feeling more clearly now than I did then.

From the very beginning of the pregnancy, I have planned on and prepared for a completely natural, drug-free birth experience.  Rather than fearing the pain and difficulty of labor, I have been excited about participating in the greatest physical challenge a woman can experience.  I know that sounds completely crazy to many (if not most) people, but it is the way I feel.  When I walked into the doctor’s office, that is where my mind was.  When I walked out of the office, I was facing the very real possibility that there would be nothing natural at all about my birth experience.

Compounding my disappointment was the fact that my mind has been being filled with negativity regarding c-sections.  Unsurprisingly, proponents of natural childbirth are quick to sing the hazards of all medical interventions, especially c-sections.  The research raises some valid concerns – difficulty breastfeeding, increased risk of postpartum depression, increased risk of respiratory problems for the baby, increased risk of complications for the mother, longer recovery, risks from the epidural/spinal anesthesia, etc.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Women who have had c-sections are quick to point out their scars and to warn you that your stomach will never be the same again.

On top of that, there are the logistical concerns.  I was so looking forward to the moment when my baby was born and he was handed right to me.  That was a big, big thing for me.  Huge.  With a section, I won’t even get to hold my baby until I’m in recovery, much less feed him.  That makes me unbelievably sad and is probably the hardest thing for me to let go of.  In fact, just writing about it makes me tear up again.  (I was also afraid that John would show Jude to his siblings while I was still in surgery/recovery and I would miss that moment, but he has promised me we will wait to do that together.)

So, when we walked out of the office on Friday, those were the thoughts flying through my mind.  It was a lot to process and deal with and my first stage in dealing with disappointment is to talk about it and cry.  So cry and talk I did.  All day.  Lucky John!

Since then, I have been working really hard to change my mindset and prepare myself for the probable section.  I realized I have been focusing too much on the process of getting him here and not simply on just making sure he arrives here safely.  I know that once I hold him, it won’t matter how he made his entrance into this world, just that he did.  To be honest, I am glad that I am having the opportunity to deal with this all in advance.  I feel like I am much better prepared for however Jude ends up making his appearance!

5 weeks…

I think he is beginning to drop.  My belly looks very different and he feels different too.  It is so exciting to think about my body getting ready to finally bring our little boy into the world.  Unfortunately, it also means I have to pee all the time!  Oh well.

The most exciting part of the week was going on our hospital tour.  I know that it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was to me.  I had never even been in the hospital where we will have him, and while I had heard good things, I had lots of questions.  I left feeling wonderful!  The hospital is just a few years old and really nice.  The LDR rooms and the postpartum rooms are all really big and go for that homey feel.  While that is great, it is really the policies I was concerned about.

My biggest fear was of them taking the baby away from me soon after the birth.  I can’t really explain why this was so upsetting to me, but I just imagined them whisking away my little guy for hours and me not being able to be with him.  I also have been afraid (irrationally so I know) that they will get him mixed up and I will never be able to prove he is ours because the DNA doesn’t match.  Stupid, but there you go.  Anyway, they told us on the tour that the hospital policy is to keep mom and baby together the entire time unless there is something wrong with the baby.  They do all of the newborn care, testing, and bathing right in the room and the baby doesn’t even go to the nursery until the next day when he goes for his hearing screening and circumcision.  I was ecstatic!  Their security procedures are also very reassuring.

My other concern was that the visitation policies would keep our kids from coming in to see the baby.  We also got very good news on that front.  While there are some restrictions in labor & delivery, they are pretty lenient, and the postpartum wing has no restrictions on visitation.  I feel very good about the hospital and it has really put my mind at ease.  I almost wish we had gone a few months ago and saved me some worry!

Anyway, time is going by pretty quickly and I am getting very excited.  We put together all of the baby furniture and started washing his clothes, so I am feeling better about getting everything done.  I am still feeling pretty good other than a nasty cold, and I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes as smoothly as the last 34 weeks!

6 weeks to go!

Our next step is to put the furniture together!  It is really coming together quickly now!

I also got a large portion of our baby gear ordered.  I finally found what I wanted and decided to go ahead and get it now.  It should be here by the end of the week!  While I couldn’t find hippo stuff, I did find Mickey Mouse and we love that too!  It doesn’t match the nursery, but this stuff won’t be in there anyway.

I am finally beginning to feel prepared for our little one to get here.

7 weeks to go!

I have always loved Christmas, but I love it now more than ever.  One of the best things is that my family gets the entire 2 week break off together.  While that is expected with teaching, it is a wonderful perk of John’s job too.  His office closes for the same break that most schools take, and I love it!!!  This year, it has been especially helpful.  We used the break to do all of Christmas shopping (yes, we procrastinated) and to get some major work done on the nursery.

I had originally planned on completing the nursery during the break, but I’m afraid that may not happen.  We have finished most of the painting, but we still need to install a chair rail and paint the hippos on the top part of the wall.  Here’s how it is so far.  Obviously, there is a lot left to get done!

The major disappointment of the past week was that we didn’t get to celebrate our anniversary as planned.  John and I celebrated 13 amazing years together last Monday.  We were supposed to celebrate with an overnight getaway and had everything ready to go.  Then, I got sick.  Again.  I’ve decided that this pregnancy has something against romance because the same thing happened in November and caused me to miss a dear friend’s wedding.  I was extremely frustrated, but what are you going to do?  Fortunately, it didn’t last terribly long and the week was not ruined.

I’m continuing to feel pretty good overall.  I have been blessed to have a really easy pregnancy so far and I am so grateful for that.  Over the past week, I have been noticing a definite increase in braxton-hicks contractions.  While they aren’t painful, they have had a few spells where they have gotten a bit intense.  It seems to be the worst when the baby is the wiggliest.  And speaking of wiggly, baby Jude was as wound up as all my other kids on Christmas Eve.  He wiggled, squirmed, rolled, and kicked all day long!  ALL DAY LONG!!!!  I don’t know how he knew that it was a special day, but he must have!

One more week of break, and lots more to get done.  We took today to rest, recover, and help the kids put away all their presents (no small task I promise!) and I am still worn out!

8 weeks and counting!

Mom captured the essence of what I wanted completely.  It is bright and fun, while still being soft and sweet.  It is whimsical and cutesy and perfect for a sweet little baby!  I am so happy with it!

In addition to that, John has got the baby’s room ready to paint.  I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it used to be Josiah and Caleb’s room and they did some serious damage.  Now the holes are repaired, the texture is touched up, the closet is painted and the primer is finished.  We even have a plan for how we will paint it!  We will be using Christmas break to get things done.

I had my 30 week check-up today and everything is still right on track.  I’m feeling pretty good with a few minor exceptions.  The typical 3rd trimester heartburn has hit and it is miserable.  I never understood those commercials with the man walking around with his chest/throat on fire, but I do now.  Yuck!  Ice cream (especially Mint Chocolate Chip) seems to help more than anything, but I reserve that treat for bedtime!

I am still having trouble sleeping some nights, but most nights are much better.  I finally gave in and bought a Snoogle.  Yes, a Snoogle.  It is a rather crazy maternity pillow that is proving to be a lifesaver!  That, combined with prenatal yoga, have enabled me to sleep comfortably again.  It has been worth every penny.  If you are pregnant, I highly recommend the Snoogle.  It really does help (even though it looks a little nuts!)

The shortness of breath has also been an issue.  The worst part of it is that feeling that way triggers my anxiety which just makes the shortness of breath even worse.  It is a vicious cycle, but according to my doctor, a very normal one.  He was so reassuring (as always) and I am determined not to get anxious when I start feeling that way again.

Little Jude continues to wiggle and wiggle.  He is almost never still!  One of the funniest things is how he reacts when I take a bath.  He thinks bath time is play time, and as soon as the water starts to cover my belly, he goes crazy!  I can be perfectly still and he will kick so hard it makes waves in the water!

10 more weeks!

I had my glucose challenge screening (to check for gestational diabetes) on Tuesday, and it wasn’t as bad as I was afraid it might be.   I had heard awful stories of how awful the drink was and how sick the test made them, but I had no problems.  The drink itself tasted just like Orange Sunkist without the bubbles and maybe a little more concentrated, so it was tolerable.  I was worried about getting bored sitting there for an hour, but to be completely honest, it was one of the most relaxing hours of my week!  I could sit there, guilt free, for an entire hour and simply enjoy reading my book.  I guess that is one of the signs of a busy life, when you can enjoy sitting in a waiting room for an hour!

The best part of the week was our 3d/4d ultrasound on Saturday!  I had been wanting to have one done, but hated to spend the money.  We finally decided to go for it since this is our first and likely only pregnancy, and I am so glad we did.  Beyond simply getting to see a glimpse of baby Jude, it was a great experience for the whole family.  The place we went had a large TV to watch it on and several couches, making it a great environment.  The kids loved it!  Jude was not as cooperative as we would have liked him to be, but we ended up getting a few good pictures.  He had his arms, legs, or cord in front of his face for a large percentage of the time and kept wiggling around.  This is my favorite picture!  It is a little hard to see, but he as an adorably pouty bottom lip and cute little button nose!

One of my favorite things throughout the pregnancy has been sharing the excitement with our children.  I knew how John and I would feel about it, but I wasn’t sure about the kids.  From the very beginning, even before we did the transfer, our kids have been excited about having a baby.  They were supportive of the idea and prayed fervently for it to work.  They were thrilled with the success and have been happy every step of the way, even when it meant I was too tired to engage with them like I normally do or was a bit grumpier than usual.  Of course, for half of our children, this will be the first time they will have a baby sibling, and for the other half, it is probably the first time that the arrival of a baby is a thing to be celebrated.  Whatever the reasons, they love their newest brother-to-be as much as we do!

Physically, this was a rough week.  I am getting the first hints of the third trimester discomfort and it isn’t very fun.  The biggest problem I am having is back pain when I sleep.  I will feel fine when I go to bed, but then I will wake up part way through the night with excruciating pain through my middle and upper back.  No position is comfortable and the only relief I have is to sit up or get out of bed.  I have tried body pillows, regular pillows, and wedged pillows and every position I can think of, and nothing is helping.  It is incredibly frustrating!  If any of you have any suggestions, please let me know!

I have been more tired again (probably because I can’t sleep!) and have started feeling breathless at times.  I have been fortunate to avoid many of the common complaints of pregnancy, but there is still a long way to go!  After everything we have gone through to get pregnant, I hate to complain, but no matter how much I love being pregnant, parts of it just don’t feel good!  It is definitely worth it though!

We all had a lovely Thanksgiving and enjoyed seeing our families.  However, I spent most of the day feeling like an overinflated balloon!  As baby boy has grown and my belly has gotten larger, my stomach capacity has gotten noticeably smaller!  I was expecting this closer to the end, but it has been an issue for some time now.  I can’t eat a normal size meal, and if I try, I pay for it!  On the upside, it has helped me keep my weight gain under control!

I also had my 28 week check-up this week.  My doctor said everything is looking perfect and nothing to worry about!  I do have to go for my gestational diabetes screening this week, but it shouldn’t be a big deal.  My next visit is the week before Christmas, and then I start seeing him every two weeks.  Baby Jude will be here before we know it!

My belly is definitely growing, but I’m not quite as big as I expected to be by now.  To be honest, I am just relieved that I have been able to keep my weight gain on track and not go overboard.

Pregnancy has actually been really good to me.  I have felt bad with the stomach stuff and a nasty cough, but that could have happened not pregnant as well.  I have been more tired than usual, but it isn’t unmanageable, and I have a few days where I wake up with a sore back.  Other than that, I have been able to avoid most of the unpleasantness so far.  With almost 13 weeks to go, I am sure there will be more issues that come up, but so far so good!

We are finally making progress on our preparations for baby, but it hasn’t been easy.  I am always a bit of a perfectionist, so making decisions is not real easy for me.  I like to thoroughly consider my options, do my research, and make sure that the decision I am making is the absolute best one.  It has been even worse with the baby because I am so set on everything being PERFECT!  That said, I am finally getting  it done!

First, we have all of our bedding started.  I was finally able to settle on fabric and basic design and my mom is busily working getting it all made.  I am so excited about how it is going and I know it is going to be perfect.

Second, we chose a name (at least half of it)!  We have been wavering between Isaac and Jude for months (all of our boys have Bible names and we knew this one will too) and we decided to go with Jude.  While the real motivation for the name comes from the Bible, John’s love for the Beatles gave it an extra edge!  Now we just need to figure out his middle name.

Third, we ordered our furniture for the nursery!  I finally found a set I like and it is scheduled to be delivered on Wednesday!  I am so excited!

We still have a lot to do over the next 3 months, but at least we have a good start on it all now!